Senior Techie Vol. 1:4 March 10, 2020

I can hardly believe that we are in the second week of March. Not that I’m unhappy to see Winter exit…well, sort of anyway. I’m still dragging out “Puffy” whenever I want. Really dislike being cold.

This is the crazy weather in the Midwest. Cold, warm, chilly, cold and that’s in one day or a few hours depending. Anyway, my tech adventures continue.

I have been engaged in a royal battle with my AOL account. Yes, stop smirking. Yes, some of us have been loyal to them since their beginning. Yet, it is time to say “goodbye”.

How about a few days of no email? I depend upon those little promises of information to inform, to entertain, and yes, to frustrate since I don’t want to join Tinder or Match whatever for seniors.

Once I discovered no new email to join its 24,000 cousins on my AOL site, I was on the phone. There had to be a dire mishap at AOL headquarters since my account had been in stellar condition and doing its job…deliver my email. Well, it began pleasant enough.

Senior Techie: Hello.

AOL Person (AP): Sweet accent-Hello, my name is ??. How may I help you?

Senior Techie: My account is not working. It is not allowing my email to come through.

AP: I’m sorry to hear that. We are here to help.

Now, the fun begins. I explain in detail. She listens, patiently.

AP: Well, I am unable to help you but I can connect you to one of our technicians. I see you are on the free site.

Senior Techie: Yes, I am.

AP: Before I connect you, we need to set you up with a subscription.

Stop the presses! Did she say “subscription”? Maybe her accent said it wrong.

Senior Techie: Subscription for what? I want to keep my free site.

AP: I can offer you the $49.00 package and you will…

Senior Techie: I don’t want the subscription and I certainly don’t want it for $49.00. I’m happy with my free email.

AP: Let me offer you a month’s free service and will $25.00 be more reasonable?

Senior Techie is getting short on patience but remains nice. AP’s accent isn’t so sweet anymore. Girlfriend is in sales mode. Senior Techie is about to join her on the opposite side: I don’t want a subscription unless it is free mode.

AP: I’m sorry. That’s the only way to talk to a technician. You get a free month.

Senior Techie: So, this it the treatment I get for 20 years with you? A forced subscription as my email children are being held hostage? What kind of business is this? I feel coerced…trapped into something I don’t want to free my email children. (It has become very personal, now.) This is like a ransom.

AP: I’m sorry but I’d help you if I could but a technician has to be involved.

Senior Techie: (a bit miffed) Fine, I need to get my email. Ok, but I’m canceling before the month is up. My credit card number is: XXXXXX.

This is not the end by any means. It just gets better or worst, depending on your side of this thing. Plus, I don’t take this by giving up. Stay tuned!

Published by Charlyne Blatcher Martin

Freelance Writer; Editorial Consultant; Creator/Host of Comcast’s Something To Talk About; and, Playwright. I enjoy reading Regency and other historical fiction and non-fiction and sci-fi. Gourmet cooking is a favorite pastime.

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